High Crimes and Misdemeanors

Hello Folks!

Diddy Here,

Before I begin, I am adding a new feature to my blog.  Besides just posting the Kahn selfie of the day and quite possibly the Diddy selfie of the day, I will now include the Kahn corny joke of the day.

Kahn Corny Joke:  If Kahn were to have his own city, what would it be named?   Kahn-stantinople!



Kahn's latest selfie:

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Today I'd like to discuss High Crimes and Misdemeanors.


There are a few things that will land you in the doghouse around here, or for the Giant, Bowser, Jane and I, the hoosegow.  (Not sure if I spelled that right.)

Here we have Bowser, in the Hoosegow for 32 counts of running amok in the house and opening packages of rice, sugar, flour, etc. (anything he could nuzzle his way into gaining access) and sampling contents of said packages.

So the list goes as follows:


1.) Drinking from toilet (Kahn's specialty)



2.)Using the toilet without lifting the lid (Pop's specialty)

(I choose not to show a picture of the toilet after Pops forgets to raise the lid.  Some things are best left to the imagination.)

3.)Leaving untold number of dishes in bedroom (the teenager's specialty)

(Teenager's crime is another item that is not proper to show to the general public.  Besides, the teenager and I are best buddies as well as Snack Buddy, they give me plenty of tasty junk food.)


4.)Running through the house with muddy feet

Here we have a foot being cleaned at the door.

5.)Chewing up a pair of boots (Hasn't happened yet, but we've been warned)

(Look number 5 up on the internet.  Reference a 13 year old lab chews up Frye Boots.)

6.)Leaving Calling cards in various locations throughout the house (Janky Janes Specialty)

Sometimes I try to get retribution for Mum and Pops from Jane for her nasty calling cards.
(Below) This is what she looks like after I've chased her around the breakfast room table.

(Looks a bit exhausted and cross-eyed wouldn't you say?)

7.) Hiking leg on Butcher Block. (My specialty)

(What can I say, those legs just call out to me!)

While it hasn't been added to the list of crimes, the Giant and I (under my instruction) like to practice what I call track and field.  One of the track and field specialties I am training him for is hurdles.

He hasn't quite figured out the landing yet.  But, we're working on it.  If he isn't careful and rolls a little too far to the right he'll take out Mum's china closet.  If he does, I'm sure it will be added to the list and the judgment will be swift and sure.  I, however, will be in the next county by the time Mum shows up to see Kahn lying alone in a mess of broken china closet.  He He He.

Retribution

We always know when it is Pops that is in trouble, because Mum will come around asking:
"Where is that little fat man?... Mum breathes flames while carrying the
skillet we call the SMACK.  If you ever wonder why it is that sometimes you can ask Pops, "Hey Pops, what day is it? and Pops says, "Why, I drive a horse and buggy!", it is because Pops  has had too many whacks from the SMACK.   Mum smacks pop and he smacks the floor!

By the way, Mum always says that everybody should have a little fat man!

Those are the crimes that most easily come to mind.  Kinda reminds me of the time I had to put together an escape from a secret spy prison in Kamchatka.  But hey, that's a story for another day.  Me Mums calling with a cinnamon raisin bagel soaked in butter!. 

'Till next time,  CORGI!