Diddy, here.
Pops has recently noticed a rash of missing items from the refrigerator and pantry. Not being too overly nosey, I decided to take a peek for myself and ask Pops, in a very nonchalant manner, just what exactly is it that is missing. I didn't want to seem too interested, lest Pops suddenly should decide to turn his investigation on me!
"Diddy," Pops said, "we have been missing a number of items from the fridge and the list only seems to be growing day by day. Futhermore, the pantry seems a bit lack in certain areas."
Not fully getting a grasp of the situation, I pressed Pops for more information. "Well, Diddy... the chicken is gone, the tuna is missing, there was a whole turkey in the freezer, and that's gone too. Oh and did I mention the smoked salmon in the pantry along with quite a few condiments, and herbs, and such."
Hmmm. Chicken, Salmon, Tuna, Turkey... I normally would turn to Kahn and pursue a line of questioning that would leave Scotland Yard wanting. Kahn was into stealing eggs, what would it be for him to take some different types of meat. Even so, Kahn could not have possibly been the culprit because during the time that this was taking place, Kahn was exiled, excommunicated, and basically jailed in the hoosgaw with no way to commit these particular crimes.
Also, the teenager is exempt since he was in school while this dastardly crime was being perpetrated. It only leaves one suspect that I can seriously consider.
I needed to set a trap, though. If I were to catch this despicable villain, I had to put myself in a position to allow for the best opportunity to solve this domestic mystery.
With Pop's and Mum's approval, I set up a stealth camera and borrowed some turkey sausage, along with some lunch meat. I added in some cheddar cheese and after leaving it out for a bit to create aroma, I placed it into the fridge and hid in a cabinet with the camera.
Ready to pop out and shoot a pic of the would-be lunchmeat theif, I made myself comfortable and prepared a place to sit in for a long period. The stakeout seemed to be over much sooner than I thought. I had no sooner gotten comfortable when I heard this noise. It was Jane bellowing the way she does when she is trying to find out if anyone is close by. But I wasn't sure if she was the culprit. Her bellowing was still a good distance from the kitchen and pantry! I also heard another noise, but it could be the water heater turning on.
Next thing I know, she is donning this mask, preparing to make away with some of Mum and Pop's hard earned foodstuffs. I waited until just the right moment, got my camera ready... and
BOOM ! Out I jumped with camera in hand and pointed and shot an excellent picture of a thief in disguise!
Pops came running. He gave me a smile and told me I did a good job. I actually got a couple of days of vacation thanks to my detective work!
As for Jane, well Pops decided to let me grill her with an interrogation that so takes me back to me days in the grand old SCS. Yes... but that's another story. Jane finally admitted that she was on her way to rob a food bank with this netting over her face. (She didn't want to be identified by security cameras.) She made the comment that the smell of the lunchmeat just drove her crazy. Then, with a slip of the tongue, she let it loose that she was too clever for me to catch taking the other meats... and identified exactly what Pops and Mum were missing along with some stuff that they didn't even know about.
The whole time she was bragging about it, she didn't realize that I had a voice recorder sitting close by taking notes of everything she said. She smiled and smugly said "Nice try, Diddy. But you'll never pin those on me with Mom and Dad. As far as the lunchmeat is concerned, I haven't even touched it yet!" Then she started this evil witch-like laugh. Imagine the look on her face when I replayed her recordings for her!
I couldn't help but say: "Cat got your tongue?"
So, I put on my Super Diddy costume and escorted her to the hoosgow.
She is currently awaiting trial in Pop's court. Mum will serve as the prosecuting attorney. I will be the Bailiff. I will report more on this and other developments as they become available.
That's all folks!
Say Good Night, Kahn.
Good Night, Kahn.
Yep. That's what I thought.
Diddy Out.
CORGI!
No comments:
Post a Comment